Versus
Recently I had a discussion with an online friend about sexuality, relationships, religion and stereotypes. We found that we have similar preferences in some of those topics.
It started me thinking about the best way to influence Gay culture in a positive way while keeping our minority true to those who paved the way for the current Gay Rights Movement.
I've selected excerpts from our discussion that were relevant and didn't delve to deeply into personal matters. The following quotes are the result.
My friend:
I like men who are in shape... chest hair is really hot to me..... And it might be strange, but I'm not into anal sex that much... Maybe I identify more with G0Y (g-zero-y) than gay? Have you heard of it?
Myself:
Yes, I've heard of g0y before and believe it or not I identify with that movement as well. I'm not "Gay" as society has depicted us. I believe 90% of homosexuals identify with g0y more than gay. All of us are tired of the stereotypes. Society perpetuates these stereotypes in Mainstream Media. Young Gay men are affected by this portrayal and they tend to emulate the stereotype because that is what they think being Gay is. I grew up in a time when being a 'Gay' stereotype would cause you a lot of problems. We were forced to remain in the closet or risk being rejected by everyone. It was a hard time my friend.
Perhaps that is why I have a lot of tolerance for the prancing and dancing fairies we see at the Gay Pride Marches. These young men are doing us a service as well as embarrassing our community. They are forcing society to accept us - they are on the front lines and they take all the heat for us. We can sit back at home watching it all unfold before us while we risk nothing because we remain silent against the oppression of our minority. I don't like the little 'Nancy Boys' nor am I attracted to them but don't kid yourself - they are doing the dirty work for all of us. Don't forget that. I don't mean to preach but I just wanted to remind you of the situation we all face.
I've always enjoyed oral sex much more than anal sex. That's just my preference. Anal sex is fine but only between people in a committed relationship be it Gay OR Straight. The pleasure of anal sex diminishes over time but the pleasure of oral sex lasts a lifetime - I can vouch for that! LOL!!!
As far as religions go - I was raised in a Southern Baptist home and went to church 3 times a week - Sunday morning for Sunday School and then church service afterwards and Wednesday evening church service. My family was always aware of my 'difference' and they protected me from much of the pitfalls many Gays had to endure. I have disassociated myself from any religion as a result of the hatred of homosexuals that is so widespread throughout all religions. That is not to say I am faithless. I have my own belief system and that works great for me.
I hope I haven't offended or bored you with all of this but I thought I would share a little more about myself tonight.
Urban Dictionary Online Defines G-0-Y (G-Zero-Y):
g0y
G0Y (G-ZERO-y) is a guy who finds men attractive, but (for whatever reason) is offended by the stigma that currently defines the 'gay community' in the public psyche. A G0Y recognizes that the "gay-male" community tends to embrace every gender-bending act, fetish & affectation and include those things in the general image that "gay" projects publicly. As an example look up gay pride parade on Google and you will see many examples of the associations that the word gay represents. G0YS reject those associations completely & consider it a form of prejudice against men who love men. Behaviorally: Anal-sex is innately shunned by g0y men - as it represents, to them, the ultimate form of sexual disrespect whether it be male/male or male/female. G0y men know that anal-Sex is the mechanism for the EXPLOSIVE SPREAD of Sexually Transmitted Diseases over the globe. Other distasteful stereotypes include (but are not limited to): Effeminate behavior, extreme passivity (like cowardice) & drag. G0Y men don't call other men "girl", "bitch", "queen", etc. G0y men refuse to be defined by the gay community. As G0y men we accept that we are born homosexual but we choose not to be gay, this doesn't make us gay-lite or homophobic. We are self identified homosexual men.How can we who state we are homosexual or bisexual be homophobic? We do not hate gays we just know that the anus is not a sexual organ and wasn't meant to be used as one.
"Oh, you know he's g0y, he's into men, but not gays."
Of course, you must consider the source of this definition. In fact I had to edit the definition to a more understable version because it was almost unfathomable in it's original form - or at least I couldn't understand it as it was.
The explanation this definition offers seems heavy handed and anti-gay but that is acceptable to me because who ever wrote it is probably suffering from low self-esteem and self-loathing related to their homosexual feelings. I'm not saying they are in denial but they do have some issues with Gay people in general.
The idea of a sub-group of Gay men who reject the effeminate stereotype that has saddled all Gay men is one I support. I do not identify with men who try to behave as women. I have a lot of Gay friends and none of them identify with flaming Gays either. In fact, I do not have any friends who fit that description. I believe the vast majority of Gay men are masculine and desire masculine partners.
I respect everyone's freedom to be who they are and if some wish to behave as feminine as possible then more power to them. It seems unfair to allow them to have center stage in society's eye while the other 95% of Gay men remain invisible. That will probably never change because the invisible majority are too busy trying to blend into society and lead somewhat average lives.
The point I tried to make in my discussion with my friend was this: We masculine Gay men have a duty to respect that small minority of feminine Gay men who are the ones on the front lines fighting for Equal Rights for all Gays. The next time you see a news story about a Gay Pride Parade with thousands of flambouyant young men girating on floats in G-string bikinis and dressed in Drag remember all those who came before us and started the modern Gay Rights Movement. Those few who defied the odds and threw off the shackles of oppression and discrimination while risking their jobs, safety and even their very lives in the process.
Long Live The Queens!
Gideon
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